It’s that moment we all hate. Whether you get the call to step into the boss’s office or you receive a complaint from a client or customer, it’s painful to hear someone say they thought you did a bad job. But it’s also valuable information. Knowing where you need to improve your performance is vital to stepping up the career ladder or to growing your customer base.
And it all starts with learning the right way to react when the criticism comes in. Check our guide for some ideas.
Pause before you react
The first thing to know is that you don’t need to respond right away: in fact, it’s usually best to listen and give your emotions space to settle before you try to reply. That pause creates room to shift how you interpret the feedback: it becomes productive information rather than a personal attack. As organisational psychologist Tasha Eurich notes, gaining perspective helps place feedback in its proper context before deciding how to respond.
Show that you’re willing to hear it
It may seem hard to believe, but most bosses dislike giving critical feedback and most customers dislike complaining. Showing that you’re open to hearing it instantly builds rapport and signals that you’re on the same side. Workplace adviser Alison Green recommends responses such as: “I really appreciate you telling me this. I didn’t realise this was a problem, and I’m grateful that you raised it.” You don’t have to agree with anything on the spot—just show that you’re genuinely listening.
Dig into the details
Doing some extra research helps you respond with clarity instead of defensiveness. You need to discover whether the issue is a one-off slip or part of a pattern. This exploration may even surface information that changes the picture entirely. Career development expert Nicole Lindsay suggests avoiding debate in the moment and instead asking questions that help uncover the real issues and possible solutions.
Create a plan and check back in
Once you’ve looked into the situation and created a plan to address it, follow up with the person who raised the concern to show you’ve taken it seriously. “If you don’t, you’ll look like you’re shirking a tough conversation or not taking it seriously,” says Alison Green. If you do follow up, you often impress the other person with your commitment to putting things right.
Separate the feedback from your identity
It’s easy to fuse criticism with your sense of self, especially when it stings. A simple mental reframing helps: treat the feedback as an insight about a moment or behaviour, not about who you are. This shift lowers the emotional temperature and helps you work with the information rather than against it.
Look for the ‘next step’ (not the perfect fix)
Often, people freeze because they feel they need to overhaul everything. In reality, one small, visible improvement – like responding faster to emails, preparing more thoroughly, clarifying expectations sooner – can rebuild trust quickly. Criticism can feel overwhelming when it’s abstract; it becomes manageable the moment you turn it into a single concrete action.
