The way we work has fundamentally shifted. Many of us juggle video calls with in-person meetings, collaborate across time zones, and navigate team relationships through screens and chat messages. It’s a mix that can turn minor misunderstandings into bigger problems – a terse Slack message can be misread, or a colleague’s camera-off moment can be misinterpreted. A survey by the CIPD, a professional body for HR staff, found that more than one in four employees found conflict was a common occurrence, and fewer than half experiencing conflicts said they had been adequately resolved.
What this means is that people with the empathetic and diplomatic skills to help their colleagues see eye-to-eye again will stand out as valuable leaders. So, how is it done? We found out what the experts say.
Create a Safe Space for Discussion
The first rule about workplace conflicts is to make the dispute private. “Effective conflict resolution strategies never include hashing the issue out in public,” says Ken McGroarty from Pollack Peacebuilding Services, a conflict resolution consultancy.
He says airing problems with the whole team present puts the parties in the dispute on edge and makes everyone else uncomfortable. However, holding meetings in private rooms allows them to be forthcoming about possible solutions rather than playing to an audience.
Master the Art of Active Listening
“The key to resolving a conflict is in listening, not talking,” says HR expert Scott Warrick. After all, in a dispute, it’s common for both parties to feel like they’re not being heard. Listening carefully is crucial to building trust as well as understanding both points of view.
Warrick suggests “parroting” everything back after each side has explained themselves to establish common ground. “You don’t move on in the conversation until the other person agrees that you understand their perspective,” he says. “This ensures a shared understanding between the parties.”
Uncover the Real Needs at Stake
CEO coach Mike Myatt suggests exploring the goals and motivations of the parties in conflict to understand the WIIFM factor – the What’s In It For Me factor. “The way to avoid conflict is to help those around you achieve their objectives,” he says.
Once you’ve established everyone’s goals and reminded them of the company’s goals, which all parties should share, you can start working towards a compromise.
Guide the Solution, Don’t Force It
Your job in resolving conflict isn’t to decide who’s right, say Jeanne M. Brett and Stephen B. Goldberg, professors who are experts in management and arbitration. They suggest the only times you want to impose a resolution are if company policy issues are involved, there is imminent danger, or all other avenues have failed.
Instead, by exploring the needs, wants and priorities of all parties, you can reach a decision for which they can take responsibility. “Surprisingly often, parties can simply agree on how they are going to interact or address the issues in the future,” Brett and Goldberg say. Where there is a lack of confidence in each other, they suggest trying a short-term agreement to increase trust.
Look Forward, Not Backward
Conflict resolution experts consistently emphasise one key principle: focus on the future, not the past. When emotions run high, revisiting every detail of who said or did what is tempting. But dwelling on past grievances rarely leads to solutions. Instead, the most successful mediators guide conversations toward what happens next.
Questions like “What would make this work better going forward?” or “How can we prevent similar situations in the future?” shift the focus from blame to problem-solving.
Know When to Press Pause
Experience shows that timing matters in resolving conflicts. Sometimes, the most effective action is to take a strategic pause. When tensions are high, a 15-minute breather or even continuing the discussion the next day can make all the difference.
This gives everyone space to process their emotions and return to the conversation with a clearer perspective and more constructive mindset.
